


Secondly

by scarlettandblue



Series: Qua Torva Res Es [2]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M, SGA Secret Santa 2009, Stargate Atlantis Vegas AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 20:00:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10624104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarlettandblue/pseuds/scarlettandblue
Summary: Part 2





	

Rodney stopped taking the pills McKenzie had prescribed. He honestly didn’t notice any difference. He attended his first session with Kate Heightmeyer and she seemed happy enough that he was medication free.

Two days later Rodney received a letter from the Human Resources manager at the joint Oversight Committee. When he first read it the letter made him feel strange, useless and old before his time. But in the end the only sensible thing to do was accept the retirement package the were offering, it was too much money and too much freedom to turn down.

Rodney still had the dream, just less frequently, but when it came it was powerful enough to leave him devastated for a day or two afterwards. The dreams followed a pattern he was sure. It was just a pattern he couldn’t seem to understand.

The dream was always triggered by a moment when he would suddenly become transfixed by the colour of his skin in the darkness. Moonlight, sometimes starlight would appear to light his skin a different hue. He would find himself staring at his own hand, pale and strange against his pillow and then the next instant he would simply be in the heart of the dream.

But all the obvious patterns that could be attributed to the waxing and waning of the moon did not seem to apply to his dream. It wasn’t some kind of full moon madness, nor did it coincide with the new moon, or the harvest moon, or even a blue moon.

After he had exhausted every permutation of the moon’s influence he became quite obsessed with keeping a diary, trying to chart a configuration of moonlight and something else combined that would trigger the dream. Food had kept him busy for a few months, but it wasn’t that. Then he started checking chemicals. In food, in toiletries, in household products, even in the air but there was nothing significant there either.

He briefly considered the cause might be power cables or other sources of electricity, or electro-magnetic power, thermal hotspots or fault lines, even ozone. But none of them seemed to have any significance, and Rodney figured he needed to stop before he became too obsessive. Before he started speculating wildly about alien light beams or black holes or tears in the fabric of reality, or something even more way out that might necessitate him wearing a hat made of aluminium foil around the house.

After about a year he had learned to accept it as part of his life, part of who he was, like his allergies or his degenerated disc or his hypoglycaemia. He learned to make proper allowances, he didn’t let it rule him, just like he never let the fear of an unexpected lemon rule his day. So what if one or two days every month he simply had to stay in bed to recharge his batteries? If he could live with it so could everyone else.

He started thinking about work again, but it was strangely unappealing. The fire he used to feel just wasn’t there. The spark had been put out and there was a numb kind of gap in his psyche where ambition, the drive to discover, to know used to be. He spent several sessions with Kate, trying to decide if he missed that aspect of himself, but he couldn’t decide. In the end they agreed he would simply wait and see how it turned out. Like most of the things they figured out in his therapy, it wasn’t a perfectly elegant solution but it was enough to get him by.

A few more months drifted by and then Rodney heard back from an application he had sent out. It wasn’t full time, just six days a month directing a project at The Pine Mountain Observatory in Oregon. It was more practical astrophysics than theoretical but it seemed like he might enjoy the change of pace, so he accepted.

The first couple of months he stayed in a small but comfortable hotel in Bend that gave him the excuse he needed to think about finding somewhere more permanent to live than his sister’s spare room.

It meant he would have to go back to Nevada.

He hadn’t been back at all since they let him out of the hospital. I wasn’t like he had forgotten. He‘d had a life there, a job at the Groom Lake facility, a modern ranch style house in Alamo, he’d had a new Jaguar coupe, he’d even had a pet cat. But somehow he hadn‘t been able to face any of it so he‘d let Jeannie take care of it all.

She had arranged for his most personal belongings to be sent to her in Vancouver, the rest had gone into storage. She said the cat had gone to a neighbour, his car was sold and the house had been placed with a rental agency.

For the first time in nearly two years Rodney thought about going home, and he was surprised to find he could not do it. He simply could not bring himself to drive up to his old house and park in the drive. He could not bear the thought of stepping through his front door and standing in his living room with the sliding glass doors that gave a panoramic view of the desert. That view had been what sold the property to him when first looked round it. Now it seemed to terrify him.

Rodney called the realtor in Alamo, even that made his hand shake a little. He was relieved when she told him they had an office in Las Vegas. Seemed his freak-out only covered the area around Groom Lake, not the whole of Nevada.

Rodney had been to Las Vegas several times. He didn’t hate it there.

So he arranged an appointment to go over the sale details in a week’s time at their Vegas office. He booked himself a suite at the Luxor, he figured he could afford it now, thanks to his retirement fund. Plus he remembered this guy he used to work with sometimes, Daniel Jackson, spending a whole hour lecturing some hapless military type who had been thinking of holding his wedding at the Luxor. It made him smile to think of how ticked off Jackson would be to know he was staying there.

From what he remembered, how to beat the house was a surprisingly hot topic of conversation among the scientists at Groom Lake. Maybe it was just because they were in Nevada. Maybe it was the propensity for maths geeks to be utterly convinced their brains could count any number of cards and thus have an infallible system to win at Black Jack.

Rodney even recalled one very weird metallurgist who spent all her time in a heavily shielded lab trying to produce new metal alloys combining naquada and strontium. She was convinced she could influence the roulette ball with just the power of her mind, and a glove lined with filaments of smelted naquium or whatever she called her new super metal discovery.

Rodney had always pretended such things were beneath him. He regularly threatened the especially stupid ones with exposure to the Top Brass for spending more time on their various pet gambling schemes than their actual projects. Nevertheless, he had tested his own theories several times on occasional weekends in Vegas.

He bet small and careful on Black Jack, and he consistently won because, unlike many of his colleagues he actually was a genius, so he really could remember every card that had been played. But he made sure he never drew unwanted attention by winning too large.

The only other thing he ever bet on was video poker machines. They had marginally better odds in most casinos, and he found it soothing to sit at the bar enjoying a couple of drinks and tapping quietly at a machine until he had amassed a couple of thousand dollars.

The one thing Rodney absolutely never did was play actual live poker. He learned that lesson while he was still at home. After years of being able to beat him at any card game they ever played, Jeannie had finally let Rodney in on her secret the night before he left for college to study for his first degree. She explained how every emotion, every thought, every damned card he was dealt showed up like a neon sign in the expressions that crossed his face.

This had been something of a revelation to Rodney, as he had always believed his face was kind of passionless, bland and unremarkable to look at, just one of the many ways he had apparently proved to be a disappointment. Also, at the age of sixteen it was incredibly off-putting to be the subject of a lecture from a twelve-year-old sister about the dangers of playing strip poker in the dorms.

Of course, any hypothesis was nothing until it was rigorously tested, and Rodney certainly tested Jeannie’s theory a few times before he had to conclude that in this one area she might actually have a point, and Rodney was finally convinced that he didn’t have a poker face.

Three days into his kind of vacation in Las Vegas, Rodney found himself in the realtor’s office siging the papers for the sale of his house in Alamo, and when that business was finished found himself agreeing with Mrs Gray, the glamorous sixty-year-old who had been dealing with him, to look at some new condos in a small development that had recently been built in one of the more attractive suburbs of Las Vegas. It seemed that he didn’t have a real estate face either.

Rodney found he liked the three-bedroom apartment so it was surprisingly easy to sign the papers and buy the place. And, because it was ready for occupancy, and because he had cash to spend, he found that three weeks later he was moving in to his brand new Las Vegas home.

It took him a couple of months to settle in, and then he was half reluctantly, half proudly, hosting a Halloween family get together. Jeannie, Maddie and Kaleb descended on him on the 29th for a week-long holiday. He made an appropriate amount of fuss but secretly Rodney had missed his sister and her family, and he was unexpectedly thrilled they were staying with him.

Maddie was given special dispensation to stay up late on Halloween night after all the trick or treating was done. They had planned a walk down the strip after dark to people-watch, because most people out on the 31st would be in fancy dress. Although Rodney would come to regret using that particular phrase, when special dispensation became the two most over-used words in the McKay household for the rest of the week. Because if he never again heard his niece ask whether he had ‘special dispensation‘ to have another cup of coffee or use the bathroom or to wear a particular amusingly captioned t-shirt, it would still be too soon. But on Halloween night it was kind of funny to hear Madison ask with complete seriousness if the guy dressed up as Frankenstein had special dispensation to walk around looking like a big freaky monster.

Rodney had a surprise for Jeannie and Kaleb too. He had thought long and hard about how he had reacted when Jeannie had told him about her situation and her plan to marry Kaleb. After all, he’d had plenty of time to think recently. So, he’d booked them into a honeymoon suite at the Venetian for the weekend. They would have champagne breakfasts, his and hers spa treatments, a romantic dinner and tickets to whatever show they wanted to see afterwards. Rodney had even asked for vouchers for the boutiques in the casino so Jeannie and Kaleb could buy themselves something nice to wear for their romantic evening.

Rodney was well aware that this was what he should have done six-and-a-half years ago. He knew it didn’t make up for what he had said and done back then, how he had reacted when Jeannie had first told him she was pregnant, but he hoped it would at least be the start of making it up to her.

Madison was quite taken with the idea of being grown up enough to stay by herself with Uncle Mer. She had been happily skipping along beside him after they had left her parents at The Venetian and headed back to the car. Rodney was hyper-aware that he had a most precious task entrusted to him, looking after Maddie, so maybe that explained why he noticed the sounds coming from the level above them in the parking garage. He didn’t know how, but he definitely recognised the sound of someone being beaten up. The hissed “not the face!“ followed by a heartfelt groan just confirmed it, but Rodney was unsure what to do.

He had never been confident with physical confrontation. He could be aggressive, even intimidating sometimes, but it was verbal, and it was always about defending himself or his theories. More importantly, Rodney had to remember he wasn’t alone, his first priority was Madison.

But when he glanced at her he could see Maddie had heard what was going on, and while she might not understand it fully, she had figured out something bad was happening to someone. When she looked at him, he felt the weight of her expectations on him to make the world right again. To stop the bad thing happening. He felt the absolute need not to be an abject coward in her eyes.

“I’m strapping you in extra tight, you hear Madison?” He sat her down on her booster seat in the back of his vehicle. “You keep your head down. Whatever you do don’t look out, okay?”

“Yes uncle Mer.” Maddie sounded serious. She didn’t sound scared.

Rodney put his own seat belt on and turned on the engine. He grabbed his cell phone and dialled 911. He told the operator who he was, where he was and what was happening, then ended the call. Rodney put the radio on and cranked up the sound, he didn’t want Maddie to hear anything bad, and as he drove towards the up ramp he reminded her, “Remember - no looking out, Mads.”

He saw an indistinct group of people at the far end of the upper parking level and he flicked his headlights on to full beam. As the high beams illuminated the dark corner everyone scattered apart, leaving one man who was bent over awkwardly, a hand pressed against the wall to hold himself up. Rodney slowed a little, pretending to hunt for his ticket on the centre console, but really wanting to make sure the other men had left.

Seconds later a fancy black SUV pulled out of a parking space and headed out of the garage with a squeal of tires. Rodney glanced up quickly as the man at the far end of the garage watched the vehicle disappear. When he was sure it was gone the man straightened up and walked a little stifly towards an older-looking car. Rodney pretended to find his parking ticket and headed for the down ramp. He very carefully didn’t look at the man getting into the dented Chevrolet. He had the strangest feeling that he was afraid to see what the man actually looked like close up.

After they had driven away and were on the road home Rodney turned the radio off and asked, “Are you okay, Madison?”

She was quiet for a moment and Rodney had the terrible feeling he had somehow got it all wrong, that he had traumatised his six-year-old niece for life. He swallowed and was about to speak again, about to offer to take her to her mother or do whatever she needed him to do to make it better, when she finally spoke. “They were bad men.”

“Yes they probably were.” Rodney was relieved at how she sounded, matter of fact, a little grave the way she could be sometimes, and blessedly untraumatised.

“You should have run them over!” She sounded very serious, studious even, like she had given a lot of thought before coming to that conclusion.

Rodney was a little dumfounded. “Running people over on purpose is bad, Madison.” He heard her take a breath, clearly about to question the statement, so he added. “Even if they’re bad men. You still shouldn’t run them over.”

“But they might do it again.”

Maybe she was a little traumatised after all.

“They can’t hurt you, Maddie. They had no idea you were even there. The windows in the back are tinted, remember?“

“I’m not afraid for me, Uncle Mer!”

Rodney swallowed, for perhaps the first time ever he understood the sweetness and the responsibility of really mattering to someone, even if it was just one little girl. “They can’t hurt me either. They don’t know who I am.“

“No, not you.“

Rodney felt that like a kick in the chest, but of course he really should have known she hadn’t been worried about him. But she was only a child so he tried to keep his voice gentle as he said. “And they can‘t hurt your parents either, you do know that, don‘t you?”

“Yes of course I know that. But they could hurt him again.”

“Who?”

“The bad men, they could hurt the other man again.“

“Oh I don’t think that’s very likely, it was just some kind of random mugging thing.”

“They parked next to him.”

Rodney thought back to the moment when the imposing black vehicle had pulled away and realised she was right. Then he realised what her knowing that fact actually meant.

“I told you not to look, Maddie.”

“I know.”

“What else did you see?”

“Nothing.”

But Rodney had learned a thing or two while living with Jeannie so he asked again.

“Madison?”

“V16 661.”

“What’s that?”

“The Bad Men.”

“You remembered the licence plate?”

“And D98 363.”

“And that’s?”

“Him. The man they were picking on.”

“How did you know to do that?” Rodney was amazed, because while it was clear Madison was very smart, this seemed beyond what he would imagine any six-year-old should know.”

“Mummy told me if I see a car in the neigbourhood with someone acting funny I have to write down the number and tell her or daddy. It’s my job to stay smart and be safe. Didn’t your mum tell you to do that?”

“No, no she didn’t.”

“Oh. What did she tell you to do?“

“Uhmm, eat my crusts and be quiet any time I wasn’t in my room?”

“How did that keep the bad men away?”

“I’m not sure it was meant to. There probably weren’t any bad men when I was little, it was a long time ago.”

“Mummy said children always had to learn to be smart. It’s in stories and everything, like Hansel and Gretel and the breadcrumb trail. And she said not to worry because she learned to be smart when she was little, so it wasn’t a ‘big deal‘. And she ‘turned out just fine‘ and so will I.”

“Well, see, if that’s what Mum told you it must be right. And what do I know? It‘s obviously a girl thing.”

“No! Mummy said boys have to be smart and safe too. I think your mummy told you stupid stuff. But I know what to do so we’ll be okay, Uncle Mer.”

“Yes, we will.” Rodney knew he hadn’t had much experience with children, well with anyone really, so he supposed that was the reason he felt like he was floundering. That he felt amazed she thought she had to take care of him, when he was the adult, and she was the child. But he remembered his younger sister being exactly the same way growing up, and Madison was Jeannie’s daughter through and through.

“I wrote the numbers. We can give them to the policemen.”

“Yes, we will, once we get home.”

Of course it figured there actually would be a police cruiser parked outside his condo when they got home. Rodney endured several uncomfortable minutes while the officers eyed him suspiciously as he helped Maddie out of the car and led the way to his apartment.

It wasn’t until Madison had shown them her room and her stuff -- and had happily confirmed that yes of course Rodney was her real uncle. And that she was staying with him while her mom and dad were on a special holiday in Venice for the weekend, because Uncle Rodney had been a ‘totally appalling brother‘ and forgotten to get them a wedding present, but he was making it up to them now with honey mood sweets. And while she knew the sweets were a special present for Mummy and Daddy she was hoping they were going to save a few for her to try.

Once officers Falcon and Donatti, whom Madison informed Rodney she had Special Dispensation to call Officer Tony and Sergeant Mikey, had stopped looking at him like they were just waiting for him to twitch funny so they could put him down like a rabid dog, everything was smoothed out. Rodney handed them the page torn from Maddie’s special notebook and had to endure the raised eyebrow at the glitter pink writing, but that was it. They took a short statement from him and then left.

Rodney never expected to hear another word about it, nor did he think to wonder how they had known where he lived. He had enough to think about entertaining his niece. But as the rest of the weekend passed without a hitch or a major tantrum, from either of them, it was obviously a better use of his huge brain. Then, almost before he knew it, the vacation was nearly over and Rodney was surprised to find himself wishing they had longer.

 

On the last morning of their holiday Rodney had promised to take everyone out for breakfast. Maddie got to choose and predictably they were all soon seated in Egg & I.

She had been obsessed with the name of the place for some odd reason ever since she had overheard someone mention it the first day of her vacation. And once Rodney had found the home page for the place and she’d clicked on the chicken about a thousand times there was no way they weren’t going to be eating there at least once. Jeannie’s only comment was that at least it wasn’t an IHOP.

Everyone was soon happily tucking in to their chosen breakfast, but Rodney couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. The food looked good. The coffee was passable. Their waiter had been attentive and efficient and had underlined the note he made about Rodney’s citrus allergy three times, but still he was uneasy.

Jeannie looked up and caught his expression and, completely misunderstanding his apparent unhappiness, she squeezed his hand and said, “It’s okay, Mer, we’ll have other vacations.”

Rodney nodded and smiled. He didn’t say anything because for some reason, more down to sheer dumb luck than any actual ability on his part to interact with people, and his family in particular, he finally seemed to be getting things right with Jeannie.

“Next month you can come and visit us, Uncle Mer,” Madison added. “And we made sure you won’t be so lonely….”

“Madison Miller, what did I tell you?” Jeannie interrupted whatever her daughter had been about to say.

“It’s supposed to be a surprise, mummy.” Maddie looked pretty upset, Rodney noticed her bottom lip beginning to tremble a little. It was a sign of impending water-works that he remembered all too clearly from his own childhood and his own little sister. He thought it might be time for diversionary tactics.

“No harm done, Mads.” he said brusquely. “I have absolutely no idea what you Miller girls are nattering about, but I’m sure it is quite riveting, to anyone who isn’t a genius.”

Madison looked at him. “You’re not funny!” she said, but she was obviously trying not to laugh.

Jeannie smacked him on the arm, although it was more for show than the normal variety of assault she inflicted on his person. “No, not funny at all, Meredith!” And there was definitely amusement in her eyes as she said it.

He forgot about his earlier uneasy feeling and set about demolishing his breakfast.

After they had eaten and he had paid, Rodney was debating whether to suggest a trip to the Hoover Dam, or a flight over the Grand Canyon. These were pretty standard tourist fare for Las Vegas, but he thought Jeannie and Kaleb might enjoy showing Madison the sights on their last day.

Then Maddie suddenly piped up. “I want to see Calico.”

“What the ghost town?” Rodney remembered it was some kind of Wild West tourist trap.

Then everyone seemed suspiciously interested in ‘Calico the ghost town‘. Rodney offered to let them take his vehicle if they wanted, they could just drop him off at home, because he was pretty certain it wasn‘t going to be anything he wanted to see. But Madison was starting to look upset again, clearly she wanted him to come and see Calico too.

So they set off. Rodney let Jeannie drive while he sat in the back because he only had a vague idea of where they were going. He settled back for a comfortable hour with his eyes closed while he digested his breakfast and ignored the annoying smirk his niece kept sending his way.

He didn’t really pay attention, and Rodney only vaguely recalled that the sign for Calico was off the highway, but he thought it was some way out of town, so when they turned off after a scant ten minutes' drive it seemed too soon. He looked around as they pulled up a long drive and parked outside a working ranch house.

“Jeannie?”

“It’s okay Mer, we’re expected.”

A pretty woman headed towards them from the neat barn next to the house. Jeannie got out of the car and opened the rear door to unstrap Madison from her car seat.

“Mrs Miller?” The young woman shook his sister’s hand then she looked down at Maddie and said, “And this must be Meredith.”

Maddie shook her head. “I’m not Meredith. That’s a boy’s name. I‘m Madison.”

“Oh I’m sorry. I misunderstood. Madison, I’m very happy to meet you, and I think there is someone in there who would like to meet you too.” She waved behind her to indicate the barn she had just come from.

Maddie nodded solemly and walked towards the barn with the two women. A moment later she grabbed the young woman’s hand, tugging on it to pull her down so she could whisper something in her ear. Then all three of them looked around and Rodney found himself under an intense scrutiny for a few seconds.

“What’s going on here, Kaleb?” Rodney didn’t have much of a brother-in-law rapport going with Jeannie’s husband, but he was hoping for some small consideration in the name of masculine solidarity after that particularly disturbing Witches of Eastwick moment.

“Better not to ask, Rodney. Just let Jeannie and Maddie do their thing. Arguing never changes the inevitable, it just prolongs the agony.”

Rodney huffed out a disgusted breath. So much for masculine solidarity. But he supposed that six and a half years of marriage and fatherhood had made Kaleb the expert in this situation.

Ten minutes later Jeannie and Maddie walked back towards the car with something that looked suspiciously like a cat carrier, and Rodney wasn’t sure why he felt tell-tale moisture welling up in his eyes. He didn’t know if it was from sadness or happiness.

He had worked out fairly soon after coming to stay with Jeannie that something had happened to Copernicus. He‘d asked after the cat several times and she‘d told him a neighbour had taken him in, but whenever he tried to find out which neighbour she was evasive. In the end he hadn’t been brave enough to ask what had really happened to his pet.

Jeannie came round to his side of the vehicle, opened his door and shoved the carrier at him. She shook her head as he was about to ask what was going on. She shut his door and helped Madison up into her booster seat and strapped her in.

They had already driven down the driveway and exited back onto the highway before anyone spoke.

“This is Calico, Uncle Mer.” Madison tried to push her fingers far enough into the carrier to reach the soft pretty fur of the half-grown cat inside. “She’s a good cat.”

Calico didn’t seem to agree with this assessment and moved further away from Maddie’s fingers with an annoyed hiss.

“Mmmhh?” Rodney was reserving judgement.

“She’s my cat. But mummy said before that I couldn’t have a cat, because once upon a time a cat killed a whole spaceship. So It‘s bad, but you don’t care about that so you have to keep her for me.”

Rodney stared at the cat for a moment, mulling over the cat/spaceship connection. He looked up and caught Jeannie’s eye as she watched him in the rearview mirror, she raised her eyebrow at him, amused, and mouthed the word Species.

“I have to keep her?”

“Yes, you like cats. So you have to keep her. Then she won’t be by herself and alone all day.”

“Oh… All right.”

Madison smiled at him brilliantly. She kept trying to pet the cat’s fur through the grille but the cat kept squirming away from her. “You can’t change her name either. She’s Calico so you can’t call her some stupid astrology name, okay?

Rodney nodded muttering. “Astronomy.”

But Madison didn’t hear him and carried on. “And you can introduce her to your new friend.”

“Yes…. that’s good.” Rodney wasn’t really paying attention now, so it took him a moment to register what she had said. Then he had to consider if he actually wanted to ask because, honestly, sometimes it was best not to. “I know I’m going to regret this but which new friend do you mean?”

“John.”

“Huh?”

“It's just like in all the stories, Uncle Mer. You save someone’s life and they’re your best friend forever.”

“What?”

“John is D98 363. He was sitting right behind you in Egg & I but he was shy because we were there. He’s nice and the waiter called him John. He smiled at me but he was sad, because he didn‘t get to speak to you. So when we were leaving and we walked right past his table I whispered in his ear that he should come and see you tomorrow when we were gone.”

Rodney thought he might be in a state of shock.

“How do you know he was D98 363?”

“I saw him park and come in.”

Rodney shivered. The feeling from earlier came back. This guy, this John had been watching him. But it made no sense, because there was no way for John, if that even was his real name, to actually know who Rodney was. So it had to be a pure coincidence. After all, the place they’d had breakfast was meant to be popular with locals, and he‘d guess D09 363 was a local vehicle because no one in his right mind would trust an old relic like that over any distance.

“Yes, I’ll see him tomorrow for breakfast.” Rodney figured the easiest thing was to agree with Madison and then drop the subject, because there was no way he’d ever be venturing back to that place again. Not after his niece had apparently propostioned a complete stranger on his behalf.

Madison giggled. “Is it a date? Is John going to be your boyfriend?”

“No he is not!” Rodney was going to have a serious talk with Jeannie before she left about his niece’s inappropriately adult attitude to certain things.

Not that it bothered him that she thought he might have a date with John. Not that he had any objection to anyone dating anyone, or anyone having anyone else for a boyfriend, per se. Or not much of an objection. Except it hardly seemed like an appropriate example of a sensible, safe, adult relationship to set his impressionable niece, if she thought he’d date any random person he just happened to rescue from being beaten up in a parking garage. At night. And whether they were a man or not didn’t really come into it. Much.

So maybe he was having a tiny freak-out over Madison thinking about him dating a guy. But it was more that he didn’t think her mind should be on anyone dating anyone at the age of six. Rather she should be happily playing dress-up with her Barbie and Ken dolls and watching her Little Mermaid DVD.

He spent the return journey ignoring both Madison and Calico’s curious looks. He had learned that with little girls and new cats it was better to feign indifference.  
Little girls got bored and started playing with their hair or any My Little Pony that might happen to be strategically located about the place. He‘d noticed one earlier, enticingly stuffed head first into Maddie’s door pocket. On the other hand, cats usually became more besotted with you the less attention you appeared to pay them.

Back at home Rodney was too busy settling his new cat in to think much. And the chaos created by his sister’s family packing that last night to leave early the next morning was too distracting to have time to worry about some guy he was never going to see again.

And suddenly they were all standing by Kaleb’s Prius. He’d offered a handshake to his brother-in-law, only to be engulfed by an unexpected hug and manly slap on the back.

Then it was Jeannie’s turn and she seemed genuinely sad to be leaving, if her warm embrace was anything to go by. Then she whispered, “Next time I see you I want you to be happy, Mer, you hear me? I know you’re doing fine now, but I want real, actual happiness next time. Think you can try for that?”

Rodney knew it was unlikey to happen. He had long ago resigned himself not to expect much in the way of happiness. He had come to expect a certain level of fulfilment in his work, but that was about it. And he guessed his smile was kind of crooked, because Jeannie’s arms tightened again and she said, “Just try, okay?”

Then he was leaning in through the back window and giving Maddie a hug and a kiss. And she was telling him seriously, “John didn’t want to miss your date.”  
She looked over his shoulder and giggled, waving shyly at someone.

Rodney pulled back and looked to see who she was waving at as Kaleb drove away. Across the way was a dented and faded red Camaro. The tall, lanky frame lounging back against it, arms folded across his body, legs crossed at the ankle, seemed totally relaxed. But Rodney could feel an intense focus directed at him. The man pushed off his car and made his way across the road. There was something familiar in his gait. And as he made his slow, lazy way towards Rodney, as if he had nothing but time, it seemed as if the world had tilted and slid out of focus. As if everything had slowed to half speed.

As he got nearer Rodney could see a livid cut and an angry bruise high up on the left cheekbone, the aviator shades he was wearing didn‘t hide it at all. He could see that for all the predatory grace of his walk, the man was holding his right shoulder a little stiffly and he guessed there must be other bruises. Maybe even a cracked rib hidden beneath his slightly rumpled shirt and jacket that looked suspiciously like the same clothes he had been wearing the night he‘d first seen him.

Rodney held his head up, and although he couldn’t see the eyes behind the dark tinted lenses, he knew that he was holding the man’s gaze as he drew closer and finally stopped about five feet away.

Close up he looked even worse. There was rough stubble on his chin, his lips looked a little dry, and his face had a hungry, desperate look, like he had carried a thirst for a long time and was afraid he would never quench it. He stood there for a long moment, head tilted slightly to one side, watching Rodney like he was something completely unexpected.

Then he removed the sunglasses, hooking them into the V of his shirt. Rodney noticed that his knuckles were unmarked and he was surprised. He had been expecting them to be damaged, a little red and bruised at the very least. He didn’t look like the kind of man that would take a beating without a struggle. But, clearly, he was.

Rodney had been staring at the man’s hand for a second or two before he saw that he was now holding his wallet out, and Rodney noticed the gold shield clipped to it.

Huh, he was a cop. Rodney hadn’t realised he’d said that out loud until the man replied, “Yeah.” His voice was scratchy and dry, like he had to force the words out. “Detective Sheppard.”

Rodney stared at him. He couldn’t think of a thing to say.

“I just wanted to…” Detective Sheppard slipped his badge back into his jacket. “Uh thanks, for the…” he waved his hand in a little circle, his expression pained as he continued. “You know. The rescue. The other night.”

Finally, Rodney’s mouth started working again. “Was it drugs?”

“What? No! ”Detective Sheppard sounded pretty annoyed at that suggestion.

“Aren’t you undercover?”

Sheppard smiled at him a little now. “No, why would you think that?”

“Oh, you know. The scruffy clothes, the wrecked car, the suggestion of barely concealed desperation.”

Rodney hadn’t noticed that Sheppard’s face had been particularly open or expressive while they had been talking. So the sudden look of flat cool nothing that slid across his features was kind of a shock. But he stumbled on, figuring he had said something wrong but not really knowing what. “I mean it was late, and you’re a detective, meeting up with some questionable characters in an out of the way spot. It stands to reason I’d assume it was something like that. You know, related to your work. Not personal.”

“No, Dr McKay, it was strictly personal. ” Sheppard drawled the the last word and finished with an obnoxious smirk.

“Oh. Well. Sorry I interrupted then.” Rodney didn’t know why he suddenly seemed to be in the wrong in this conversation, but he figured maybe the less he knew the better. He turned towards his building, assuming the conversation was over.

“Hey!” Sheppard said as he grabbed Rodney’s arm and stopped him. “I’m not sorry you stopped them.”

Rodney stared down at his wrist. At the way Sheppard’s hand curled round it. Rodney noticed how shockingly pale his skin looked next to Sheppard’s tan. And how the heat from Sheppard’s palm made him shiver just a little.

Rodney looked up. Sheppard’s face had relaxed again and the desperation Rodney had noticed earlier was clear to see. It was hard to hold that intense look, but he did. “Good. I‘m just sorry I didn‘t stop them before they hurt you.”

Without knowing it, Rodney had reached up to trail a gentle finger just below the bruise on Sheppard’s face, and when he suddenly saw what he was doing, he jerked his hand back. He felt his face burn hot and looked away, because it wasn’t something he’d ever do to a complete stranger. And he was aware of how intimate a gesture it was. How it might look.

Rodney risked a quick look at Sheppard again, but the man seemed totally relaxed, with a small quirky smile that lifted just one side of his mouth and creased the corners of his eyes, as he said. “That little tap? It‘s nothing. Didn‘t hurt a bit.“

Rodney knew it was a complete lie, but he chose not to call Sheppard on his macho, tough guy bravado, and he knew the conversation could have ended there. He have could simply turned and walked back to his apartment and never seen Sheppard again. He could have forgotten all about the way his voice had sounded when he’d asked not to be hit the face. He could have forgotten how Sheppard had just ambled towards him with that lazy tomcat walk. He could even have forgotten the feel of his hand.

But that dumb-assed smile when Sheppard lied about being hurt, that he could not forget. Because he’d seen the very same smile in the mirror a time or two. And he had always used it to conceal the things that hurt most of all, the things he hid from himself.

So he said, “Do you drink coffee?”


End file.
